Plum Crazy Millers...where purple, passion and peace reside.

Know why? Because you, my secret friends, get to hear my deepest, darkest, thoughts, fears and general bitchings. Lucky you. I'm a talker by nature and I have learned to control the spew that comes into my head and (originally) out my mouth. "Think before you speak." My mother always said. Little did I know how right she was.

I would say dumb ass things like "Do you still have curly hair?" to my friend who had straightened her hair.

Or "Wow! You've lost a ton of weight!" Ummm...thanks? Yeah...not always the brightest crayon in the box, but I meant well.

Like I said, I've learned to curb my voice. Say things in a manner that I get information I need without making a complete fool of myself or hurting anyone's feelings. Here, I don't always do that. Especially if I know the person doesn't even know this place exists. It's my dumping ground if you will. Most things come into my brain and linger there a while and continue on their merry little way, but recently, they've stuck there like gum to my shoe.

For example, my previous diatribe with the boyscout-carpooling-friend. She's baaaack! I have a friend visiting from up North for the week. We spent the morning with a teacher friend of mine figuring out a schedule for our kids. We are tutoring 6 kids including our own in 2nd grade curriculum. Basically to give some the catch up time they need and other's an introduction/head start kinda deal.

Anywho, we went over to my friends house to give her the dates. In the middle of my conversation, out of the blue she asks:

What are your plans tomorrow?
Ummm...(think fast) "I think we're going shopping why?"
"Well, Princess has allergy testing , and I would have to drop the Prince off at 7:30 a.m."
Oh gosh, I'm so sorry we're going to be gone most of the day.. and damn that's early!

Not "Would you mind watching him, he'll be bored out of his skull." No consideration for the fact that I had company AND as she continued on after my decline mentioned that she and her daughter were going out for luch after ward...she had NO INTENTION of coming back for her son! That would've put him at my house from 7:30 until 1 or 2 pm at the earliest! Not anywhere close to the 2-3 hour aforementioned time period!

I'm still reeling from this realization. I'm going shopping now.

I'm the kind of person who doesn't really tolerate laziness, stupidity (for those who know better) and plain rudeness. I don't get people who complain all the time about things they can control, or who have children that don't behave in public or expect the world to owe them something when they just sit around all day and do nothing to deserve it.

I have a friend. And she is still my friend because she does all of these things and really has no clue that she's doing it. Otherwise I'm just the biggest idiot when it comes to choosing people to have relationships/friendships with.

This week we were asked to carpool to boyscout camp. We agreed about 2 weeks before camp started that I would drive in the a.m. she would pick up in the p.m. 5 days of this. Camp is 1/2 hour from my house. K. No problem.

Thurs before camp starts there's a knock on my door. "So what's the plan for next week? Are you driving on Monday? Are you staying all day? I'd really like to go so can I just follow you? T's having some really Mommy separation things going on and he's really fragile right now. I'm just not sure how he's going to take the whole thing and I want to be there if he gets nervous."

Mmmmk....we talked about this maybe he's just a little uneasy being away at camp for 8 hours without mom...works for me.

"Well there's not sense in you driving too if we're both going. Why don't you just ride along with me and you can drive and pick up on Tues."

"Cool, thanks you're the best!"

Fast forward to Saturday and I get this email

Do you want to carpool on Monday to the day camp? Or at least, can I follow you, because I've never been there, and don't really know
where I'm going yet.

Ummm..hello? Did we not just have this conversation two days
ago?

Sunday night. I have a house full of dinner guests...Father's day...phone rings and the Hubs answers "Honey? Who's driving tomorrow? You or Jane?"

"Huh? What are you talking about? Driving where?" It couldn't possibly be Jane...It was. "Yes! Tell her I'll be there at 7:15..I'm dropping J-man#2 off at my mom's and we're supposed to be there early. 8a.m. to get shirts, hats, confirm registration etc." ACCCCKKK!!

Day #1. 6:15 a.m. (my alarm is set to go off at 6:30) The phone rings. Guess who?
"I checked the website last night and it says that camp runs from 9 to 3."
"Yawn...yes, but the letter says it's 8:30 -4. We are supposed to get there early to do paperwork stuff." Am I awake?
"What letter? I didn't get a letter?"

We spent the day traimpsing around the wilderness having a great day. Wait...rephrase...I did that...she spend the day hovering. Whatever.

Day #2 I ended up going back to the original plan of driving in the mornings and she picking up in the afternoon because someone whined at me on the way home saying she was sooooo tired and really wished she could sleep in....I should have SUCCCCKKKAAAA tatooed on me forehead.

End of the day..."T has been chosen for a the all-star team and he has one practice tomorrow night. It's really a long day for him so I'm going to pick up the boys around noon so T can get some rest."

Not..."Do you want me to get J-man too." or "Can we switch driving so you don't have to drive twice." or ANYTHING!!!!!

"Umm...no thanks. There's no reason for J-man to leave early, I'll just go get him."

Is this really happening?

All week things like this happened... did she mean it? No. Is she clueless? Yup. Selfish, mmm not so much. Oblivious? Yes.

Why am I friends with this woman? Good question.


My neighbor claims she's this way because she's not a stay at home Mom..never was...doesn't get the whole reciprocity-think-of-other-people thing.

I have no explanation.

Okay, so about 3 or 4 years ago I discovered this cool new invention called TiVo. An incredibly innovative device made just for mother's. I'm convinced of this. It not only allows you to record your favorite shows, like a VCR but it also enables you to pause live t.v. Great for being in the middle of watching something and the phone rings 10,000 times, some little person needs you do something or you just have to pee and don't want to miss anything.

I'm an avid t.v. watcher. I admit it. I have approximately 22 shows planned to record at various times and seasons programmed into this puppy and I sit down (usually for the first time during the day) after the kids are in bed and watch about 3 hours worth of shows in an hour and a half. How's that for commercialism? Beautiful! Wind down time for Mom and work time for Dad, puuuuurrrrfect!

Bloop...bloop...I click through the various listings and bloop.. bloop...I'm fast forwarding through the commercials (which are always louder than whatever it is you're watching..ever notice that?) bloop...bloop...deleted and more room for the next recording. What's that? Missed something? Bloop...bloop, rewind...watch it again. Great for sports fans! Your very own instant replay...

So I was driving down the road the other day...alone with my thoughts, jammin' to the classic rock tunes on the radio then the news comes on. News? I actually get to LISTEN to it due to the missing bodies in my back seat (minus children..not dead people). I was listening to some story..can't remember what it was about... and I missed part of it. I found myself unconsciously holding my invisible remote....

trying to rewind what was just said.....on the radio.

Yeah, blonde moment. Some days are just like that.

Aside from the fact that I need to lose about 15 pounds!! The kids are already at each other's throats and saying they're bored. I spent the days with about 300 boyscouts at daycamp today. I learned all about BB guns and how to shoot them, how to save someone 100 pounds heavier than you from drowning using a back pack and a rope, that I am left eye dominant eventhough I'm right handed and that I am not the only overactive mother out there. It was a lot of fun and brought back memories.

I was a girl scout..way back when...we never got to do cool stuff like archery and BB gun shooting, but we did learn how to cook a full meal in a tin foil pouch stuffed in a bunch of coals and some boating techniques that actually came in pretty handy a few summers ago. We had been canoeing down the James River and came up on a rock just below the surface. Our boat hit it just right and flipped us over. We managed to upright ourselves after spending a few terrifying moments on the underside of the canoe breathing while being pulled down stream by the current into a pool about 100 yards away.
Back then we were still allowed to go camping with our class in school, then of course, someone had to go and put an eye out and that ended that.

I also learned that we are so spoiled by our airconditioned cars and homes. What a bunch of whiners I heard today...not in our group ;0) It reached about 90 today but there was a great breeze and we had swimming at the end of the day. Our guys were real troopers and drank lots of water. It made a big difference.

J-man is being a big man about the whole thing. I'm driving him and his buddy out tomorrow and dropping them off for the day and will continue 'til Friday. He's having a great time and spreading his wings a little more and more each day. I'm so proud of the boy he is growing into... he was actually GOOD today with me there! Usually we end up at each others throats within the first hour...he turns into a two year old and won't leave my side.

Okay I'm rambling. Long day. Glad to be back to normal ;0)

Food for thought...

What's your worst fear? Has it changed since becoming a parent? Or living on your own?

When I was little, I always had dreams of being left in the car alone. Someone would hop in that was not my mother and force me to drive or the car would mysteriously start and then drive away with me. This of course, stemming frome the fact that I was anxious about not being in control seeing that I was 5 and couldn't drive yet. No, my mother never left me in the car alone, if she did I don't remember it, but regardless not the root of this particular fear.

As I grew older and finally learned to steer and how to make the big metal box on wheels go, I began to have other dreams and visions. For instance, driving head-on into a tractor trailer truck or telephone pole. What if I couldn't swerve out of someone else's way? Again, situations beyond my control and as I became a more experienced maniac..ummm...driver these fears again began to dissipate.

When I became a parent, my main worry was other people hitting me. If someone hit my in the side my youngest would be squashed, the other side my oldest or worse yet me and which then meant leaving two lovely boys without a mother. Nice huh?

Well my biggest, unfounded fear of late has been getting hit by a train. We cross two sets of railroad tracks on our way to work and school everyday. This means we cross them 4 times a day. Trains run right by the school and everyone has to yell "Train! Train!" each and every time it goes by. The engineer blares his horn leaving the kids squealing and jumping up and down.

As fate would have it, this fear was about to be tested. I pulled out of the parking lot of the church and turned left. While doing so, a utility truck of some sort pulled out in front of me from the opposite side of the street. He continued at a very slow pace, confusing at best...and stopped just on the other side of the tracks....as I was following behind him... and wouldn't you know it? I heard the dreaded sound you never want to hear when sitting on the railroad tracks with your children...the blare of the train whistle.

The lights started to flash the arms began to lower themselves and there I was, stuck behind this IDIOT. I turned to my left to see the train coming full speed in the distance and did what any freaked out woman driver would do...screamed and floored it!

Somehow by the grace of God, I managed to clear the truck in front of me by inches and not have the railroad arm come crashing down on my van. The kids had no clue what was happening til after it was all over.

J-man #2 then yelled "Train!"

Yeah, thanks hon.

OOPS! I really planned on coming back ..I swear! Life just happened! So here I am...we'll spend the next couple of days catching up but right now I'm going to tell you about right now. I'm teaching a preschool camp called Out of This World!! It's a day camp themed around space...I'm finding my science roots again!! Can I just tell you all how much I LOVE my job????? And I'm good at it too!

In a nutshell I'll be teaching 5 day pre-K next year and my Director wants me to sliiiiiide into the role of lead teacher. I guess I did well this past year! I'm not one to do anything half-assed and I 'spose it paid off. The only problem is...I don't want to step on anyone's toes, nor make any enemies . The teacher that I wanted J-man #2 to have is extremely moody and has pretty much told me she wants to do her own thing next year. My director had said she's hoping I will pull everyone onto the same page...okay no pressure or anything!

I've decided to just let her put him where she feels he'll do best. Both of my boys have grown so much in just the past couple of months it's hard to believe it! J-man turned 7 in April and is going to be in second grade. J-man #2 will be 4 in August and is reading already. Which leads me into my present day issue that is completely ridiculous and unfounded but I can't help feeling like this.

I'll be 40 in a year and a 1/2. My best friend just turned 40. We went out for a girls night into D.C. And had a blast. We stayed out til 3 a.m. and had a family party the next day here. A high school friend and her husband just came back from Russia and adopting a little boy...scary story there, suffice it to say you're lucky to be living in America. Their little boy is the cutest thing...extremely underdeveloped and pale...but alert and healthy otherwise. The party ended with us watching a video from my friends 30th birthday. The next weekend was a blistful getaway to Berkeley Springs WV and my first pedicure ever! As I entered the spa looking for a workerbee to let them know I was there, I turned to face the largest woman (shemale) I had ever encountered! She stood 6'4" at the shortest and scared the bejeezus out of me...turned out to be a really nice woman...I was lookin' for the adam's apple folks...I swear it had to be a shemale...she had man hands for Pete sakes!! Sausage fingers...broad shoulders..no hips...very real boobies but no Adam's Apple...oh well to each his/her own right?

Great weekend in the woods..left at 12 noonish on Sunday while the rest of the gal pals went to the outlets in Hagarstown...cried the whole way home. Who knows why??? Maybe it's the gray hairs in my temples, or the crows feet around my eyes, or the c-section pooch that will never go away no matter how many sit-ups I do. Maybe it's that my babies are growing up so fast...who knows. I love my life my family and my state of being...I don't care about 40 in the real sense..it's just a number..you're as young as you feel. An emotional time of year I guess. I'll get over it.

The hubs is home for a while. I'm done with everything on Friday. I'll work backwards from here.

Missed you all!! Thanks for keeping in touch! It was a nice break but I need the outlet ;0)

HELLLLLLOOOOOO! Anybody home? Remember me? I used to live here? I'm alive and kickin'...lots to tell. I have one more thing to get through today and I'll be back for good. I'm helping one of the classes make a quilt for their teachers end of the year gift. A teacher who, by the way, hates me and I have to work with next year. Should be fun.

Be back soon!!