Ya know...Stream of Conscientiousness

4:48 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
I thought this would be easier. I'm finding that when I turn on this computer, I'm not feeling funny, nor witty, nor bitchy, or anything for that matter. I just don't feel like talking. If I do, I want to whine..and I should be able to do just that, but then I have to be careful what I say so I don't piss anyone off. I've half a mind to close this blog and start all over with a new identity. To become anonymous again...of course I would tell a select few where I am...but it's becomong very difficult to say what I really want to without hurting people. I don't want to speak in code and I don't want to create hypothetical situations. I just want to say what I want to say...but then that's not terribly realistic is it? I've lost readership because I've been a slacker...but then again...this blog has come full circle for me. I used to care about who read what, when and how many times a day. When I started I had all day to read and write and was OBSESSED and now I'm just ....not. The pendulum has swung in the opposite direction...partially because I'm tired...this year has been a difficult one for me with teaching and my leadership roles, and some days I just don't want to. I get home and I'm talked out..or just want to sit and watch t.v. My house is a disaster area and should be condemned...there's still so much to do for the holiday's and I have a ton of great ideas swimming around in my head...I just can't seem get myself organized enough to write them all down. I love this job more than anything I've ever done. I love getting up in the morning and going into work and molding young minds. I'm good at it dammit! Thank God it's only part time!!

This year was a bad one to start all these life changes, but then I guess I'm one to keep life exciting!

Maybe I'm just bored...I never managed to stay with one thing too long. It'll be a year in February since I've met all of you. I do love blogging but I feel like I've lost my purpose, I guess...I don't know.

Remember the pedastal those people who hired me put me on? Well I think I fell off. Maybe it's just the holidays...maybe it's just the rain. Maybe it's PMS who the hell knows. I don't know what I'm going to do...