It Never Pays to Gossip..
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I don't normally gossip. Here's why. (btw..the people I'm talking about have no clue about my bl** or anyone that reads it. so I don't consider this gossip.)
Before Christmas, I was shopping, of course, at Target. I happened upon an aquaintance that is nice enough, but whom I have found to be an unreliable "friend" we'll call her Dee...Dee starts to make idol chit chat about the holidays, our kids (they are in the same class) and other surface conversation. I said goodbye and thought that was that.
Wrong.
"Hey so what do you think about your neighbors?"
"Umm...which ones? " Fish...fish...fish..
"You know I saw him with his trainer at the hair salon."
"Really?"
"Yeah, are they getting a divorce? What all is happening over there? You know I never talk to her anymore...she's such a bitch. I just don't agree with her parenting skills, her kids are really rotten and I guess he didn't care much for her either! LOL!"
Okay, yeah, now I'm really going to rat out my neighbor who IS going through a rather rough time with her thank-God-they're separated, soon to be divorced dog of a spouse (but let me tell you what I really think ;0))
Blah..blah...blah... at this point I just shut her out..I don't want to hear what she has to say..although the info she just gave me was correct, I didn't know anything about it at the time and it was all hearsay. Not something you want to bring up in casual conversation. Rumors had been spreading like wildfire, but my neighbor hadn't actually spoken to me personally about anything and I've learned my lesson about hearsay. Her husband, in a nutshell, cheated on her after 14 years and 4 kids, with multiple women AND took about $300, ooo of her money and gambled it away unbeknownst to her.
This, however, is not my story. Yesterday, this neighbor, whom I have not yet told about my particular conversation with Dee. Says to me "So I heard you had a conversation with Dee about Greg?"
"uhhh...ummm..." What the heck do I say??? "Yes?"
"Well what exactly did she say?"
"Uhhh...ummm...uhhh..."
At this point I'm racking my brain over "How did she find out? What the heck did I say? What did she say?" I can't remember?
I ended up telling her exactly what she needed to know with a little prompting, "Did Dee actually see Greg with his trainer outside the hair salon?"
"Yes."
"Great thanks. Legally, this really helps me out."
Oh crap! What the heck did I just do? Legal help? I know she's a lawyer but I so don't want to get into the "He said, she said" crap. I don't want to be involved!!! Who the hell told her????
She leaves, happy as a clam, I sit there for the rest of the evening racking my brain out over who the heck told her, because I didn't tell anyone! Or did I ?
Moment of clarity hits.... I told ONE person in a momentary lapse of judgement and regretted it the minute it popped out of my mouth to the point of "SWEAR-to me-you-won't-say-anything-to-anyone-because-I-don't-want-her-to-hear-about-this-from-me-it's-none-of-my-business" spiel.
I SAID this to her. "Please don't tell anyone. I'm not really sure if it's true and I'd hate for her to find out from me if it is, at least through someone else. I'll tell her when I see her again." I remember it all very clearly now.
Guess what?
She not only told someone, but it was the someone that I wanted to tell myself. My bad...I should've done it earlier and didn't. I shouldn't have said anything to Joan and I did...she's forever using me to gang up on her husband or whomever using things I've told her in confidence...I KNOW THIS!! Why am I surprised?? I'm not. I could just kick myself for not paying attention.
This is why it doesn't pay to gossip...it not only hurts people I care about and it ALWAYS gets me in trouble!
Before Christmas, I was shopping, of course, at Target. I happened upon an aquaintance that is nice enough, but whom I have found to be an unreliable "friend" we'll call her Dee...Dee starts to make idol chit chat about the holidays, our kids (they are in the same class) and other surface conversation. I said goodbye and thought that was that.
Wrong.
"Hey so what do you think about your neighbors?"
"Umm...which ones? " Fish...fish...fish..
"You know I saw him with his trainer at the hair salon."
"Really?"
"Yeah, are they getting a divorce? What all is happening over there? You know I never talk to her anymore...she's such a bitch. I just don't agree with her parenting skills, her kids are really rotten and I guess he didn't care much for her either! LOL!"
Okay, yeah, now I'm really going to rat out my neighbor who IS going through a rather rough time with her thank-God-they're separated, soon to be divorced dog of a spouse (but let me tell you what I really think ;0))
Blah..blah...blah... at this point I just shut her out..I don't want to hear what she has to say..although the info she just gave me was correct, I didn't know anything about it at the time and it was all hearsay. Not something you want to bring up in casual conversation. Rumors had been spreading like wildfire, but my neighbor hadn't actually spoken to me personally about anything and I've learned my lesson about hearsay. Her husband, in a nutshell, cheated on her after 14 years and 4 kids, with multiple women AND took about $300, ooo of her money and gambled it away unbeknownst to her.
This, however, is not my story. Yesterday, this neighbor, whom I have not yet told about my particular conversation with Dee. Says to me "So I heard you had a conversation with Dee about Greg?"
"uhhh...ummm..." What the heck do I say??? "Yes?"
"Well what exactly did she say?"
"Uhhh...ummm...uhhh..."
At this point I'm racking my brain over "How did she find out? What the heck did I say? What did she say?" I can't remember?
I ended up telling her exactly what she needed to know with a little prompting, "Did Dee actually see Greg with his trainer outside the hair salon?"
"Yes."
"Great thanks. Legally, this really helps me out."
Oh crap! What the heck did I just do? Legal help? I know she's a lawyer but I so don't want to get into the "He said, she said" crap. I don't want to be involved!!! Who the hell told her????
She leaves, happy as a clam, I sit there for the rest of the evening racking my brain out over who the heck told her, because I didn't tell anyone! Or did I ?
Moment of clarity hits.... I told ONE person in a momentary lapse of judgement and regretted it the minute it popped out of my mouth to the point of "SWEAR-to me-you-won't-say-anything-to-anyone-because-I-don't-want-her-to-hear-about-this-from-me-it's-none-of-my-business" spiel.
I SAID this to her. "Please don't tell anyone. I'm not really sure if it's true and I'd hate for her to find out from me if it is, at least through someone else. I'll tell her when I see her again." I remember it all very clearly now.
Guess what?
She not only told someone, but it was the someone that I wanted to tell myself. My bad...I should've done it earlier and didn't. I shouldn't have said anything to Joan and I did...she's forever using me to gang up on her husband or whomever using things I've told her in confidence...I KNOW THIS!! Why am I surprised?? I'm not. I could just kick myself for not paying attention.
This is why it doesn't pay to gossip...it not only hurts people I care about and it ALWAYS gets me in trouble!
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