What If? Stream of Consciousness...

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Do you ever wonder what would have happened if? If one thing in your life went the other way. If I hadn't forgotten my coat at my boyfriend's house the night of the car crash...it would be me in a coffin instead of 40 year old man of 3 that was 3 minutes ahead of us. If my Dad had bought the house next door to us instead of the one they just sold. If I had stayed with my ex-boyfriend despite his cheating. If learned to say "no" earlier in life. If I had broken a bone. If the wave that dragged me under kept me there. If I really considered my best friend a bitch the first time we met and didn't give her a second chance. If I knew about my brother's boyscout leader. If I had said "No" when my husband asked me to marry him. If I really left when he was having issues with me being pregnant. If I wasn't as patient a person. If I didn't let things roll off my back. If I ditched my friends when they really needed me.....if...if ...if...

If it doesn't kill you, it definately makes you stronger and I know one thing for sure.....If my husband's father hadn't passed away when he was 14, he wouldn't have left WV and I wouldn't have met him and I wouldn't have the two beautiful boys I have today. And in the past week I have seen both of my babies grow so much in so many ways, if I didn't have that...I think it would kill me.


J-man has, in two swim lessons, overcome his fear of being under water and stopped plugging his nose and learned to swim on top of the water. He's reading on a second grade level and is a total Math whiz and EXCITED about it!

J-man #2 had overcame his fear of small carnival rides in one day because his love of trains is greater than any fear he can imagine. He went to the dentist for the first time yesterday and actually let the dentist CLEAN his teeth! We were just going in for a check and count. He's all ready for pre-school and will pee in any potty outside of the house. (He still pees in his pull-up at home~ oh well, we're working on it)

And they both look like little men with their buzz cuts. I wouldn't trade any of it or my life experiences for this. But it's still fun to wonder....what if.