Proven Wrong

9:05 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Okay my faith in the workerbees of America has been officially restored. The fencing people showed up first with our materials to build our much needed fence, the Heating and Air Conditioning guy showed up second to fix our heat pump that went out on Easter and Miss Utility showed up a day early to mark our yard to put in our much needed fence all before 8 a.m ( and my coffee but I'm not complaining...yet ;0) )!

We can now go to the Aquarium and have a fun day with the hubs off work and the gorgeous sun!

8:56 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
The Beauty of a Bubble

Stream of Conscientiousness....They're Only Here for a Little While

7:49 AM Edit This 0 Comments »

As I watched my kids play, blow bubbles, and run around like crazy people, I was reminded how much I love being a Mom and what that really means. I've come to realize over the past couple of years that January and February are not good months for me. I'm tired, scream a lot, and am just not a very nice person. I'm judgemental and angry a good bit of the time. Not the kind of person I want to be. When I look at my kids, my heart hurts. I love them so much!!! I can't get enough of smelling their heads, kissing their chubby cheeks and hugging them until they pop!

I've been blessed with very intelligent children. I can have a conversation with J-man #2 that most people can't have with a 5 year old. "Daddy, when are you going to build my computer?"

J-man #1 is reading like a fiend and is extremely observant. " Mom, you just ran a red light you're lucky their wasn't a policeman in sight!"

I went to school for 19 years just to quit teaching and be a SAHM. And now I'm contemplating going back to teach just so my 2 year old can get into a phenomenal preschool. All I've ever wanted is what's best for them. My wonderful hubby works a ton just so I can stay home and be here for my kids. I don't envy a single one of you that has to do the job of 2 parents. It's almost more than I can handle now and there are two of us! I don't know how you do it.

We spent the day yesterday, outside at a local park with a million other moms and kids and I found myself comparing mine to everyone elses. I guess I just realize how lucky I truly am to have two beautiful, enriched boys, with a caring family and tons of friends who love us as well. I was able to refocus and concentrate on what is really important in my life. I noticed colors again, smells of fresh grass and muddy water, and how beautiful a bubble is when the light hits it just right.

Weird how a little bit of sunshine can bring out a new outlook on life isn't it?

Remind me never to move to Seattle.

What does the sun bring into your life?




Incompetence Broke My Table

7:17 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Broken Table

This is the table I got for my Christmas present. The $500 table that my kids dented up in one day, but I didn't really care because they were superficial dents easily refinished when the were older and after all it's only a table right?

Wrong!!!

I'm trying really hard to look at it like this. BUT when the slightest bit of pressure was put on the bottom shelf, it split in two on both sides! Of course this happened Easter morning after we were late for church because I forgot to check the mass schedule and it was pouring rain and the kids were strung out on candy highs....and....and...and.... you get the picture. It was that kind of morning.

So we took the table out to the garage and noticed that the legs were really wobbly. We also noticed that the screws that were supposed to hold the legs to the bottom of the table WERE MISSING! They had completely forgotten to put them in! All that was holding the four posts to the bottom platform of the table were four 1/4" dowels. One in each post! This is supposed to be an activity table specifically designed for CHILDREN to play on.

I say they because we had to pay $30 extra to have PBK's people put the table together. I guess we aren't considered competent enough, whatever. And No, we weren't given the option to
either.

So, the Hubby calls them on Monday to see what we can do about this. Ready?

They will give us a $50 store credit or they can send a furniture Doctor out to look at it and try to fix it! $50!!! That's it! The table itself was $399 before baskets and S&H and the damn "put together" fee! Of course they don't sell the table anymore...hmmm...should of clued into that one. So I don't have a full picture of what it looked like before... I'll have to get back to you on that one.

Are people really that incompetent? Do we really not get what we pay for anymore? Have you ever had an experience like this?

I'll let you know what happens.

Some People Amaze Me...

4:08 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Well, Easter is over and once again my house looks as though a tornado hit it. Oh, well it was fun while it lasted and my niece is cute as a button. We had a great time regardless of the pouring rain, screaming-fighting-crying children and snarling dogs....really *snicker-snicker*

Prior to the craziness I call Easter...we went to a birthday party. It rained that day also and was really cold. There was supposed to be a moon-bounce, which is always a good time among 5-6 year olds, but of course, they didn't get it because it was a $225 dollar gamble they weren't willing to take. Understandable. So, the theme was A Luau. Great for a girls party but the 4 boys that were there weren't interested in the grass skirts and would much rather spend their time running around slinging mud at each other. Yay, fun. I ate my face off and had grand conversation with 2 or 3 other moms and one Dad. We stayed warm and toasty inside by the fire while the kids yucked it up outside. 25 children were invited and 2 responded saying they couldn't come. Approx 15 children were there. This included siblings. Where was everyone???

I asked the hostess what happened to all her guests and she rolled her eyes and said that there were a bunch of 'No shows'. How RUDE! Had enough food to feed an army, 3 different games with gifts for ALL the kids invited, goodie bags and kites for everyone and cake to feed 40 people!!! Thank God she didn't get the moon bounce too!

I was brought up to call before you visit, leave the place you're visiting cleaner than you found it and call to inform. This meaning yes/no to parties, I'm going to be late, I'm going to be early etc. etc. Common courtesy!!! Does is not exist anymore? Especially in this day and age with cell phones hanging out of everyone's ear, how hard is it to call? Am I crazy? The more places I go, the more I see this. I've started sending out invites with Regrets only just so I can make sure I have enough of everything and double checking with most guests to make sure of their answers.

My sister invited some friends for dinner the other night and they never showed up. The invited guests called the next day to say they all had coughs and just weren't up to it. What's that about?

So, my question to you is this. Do you think I'm crazy? and How do you feel about invitations and responses. No judgements made here. You know how I feel. I'm really interested in what you think and why.

Thankless Chores...Back by Popular Demand ;0)

8:34 AM Edit This 2 Comments »
I was doing my usual monthly chore of ironing and decided to re-post this today. It's from my very first week of blogging so I didn't have a lot of blog friends then. Thought I'd share to make your menial chores more efficient. Enjoy!

I hate ironing...as a matter of fact, I will do just about anything else to avoid it including watching paint dry! However, in my search for some witty commentary about ironing (to once again, you got it, avoid it), I found some interesting things to make it...ummmm.. a tad bit more interesting. Like, for example, the number of people who included the misspelling of the word iron in their websites. Or...I want one of these... the Dressman Robot. How's that for do-it-yourself? Then there's my favorite...just heat 'em up and his secrets are revealed Sexy Ironing Board covers! And then finally, some folks with really nothing better to do with their lives than...ready for this?...see who can stage the best UNDER WATER IRONING shot! I kid you not! Well peeps...I guess I'll get back to it. I feel better now. Thanks!

And last but certainly not least...Extreme Ironing.

Life of a Chocolate Bunny

7:20 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Hoppy Easter Everyone!

See you Monday!

My Love/Hate Relationship

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My world is full of contradictions. So, I've decided to give you my top 10 things that I love and hate all at the same time and why. Let's start with bad and end on a positive note shall we?

1. My children sleeping...because they are growing and dreaming of a life that's to come, a life that doesn't include me everyday. Good for all the same reasons.

2. Walks with my dog in the morning after it rains...it's morning, it's damp and everything smells that way, mud puddles, muddy feet/paws. Good for all the same reasons.

3. Large Dunkin' Donuts coffee with 3 creams and 3 sugars...molten hot, 7000 calories and tastes too good not to drink. Good for all the same reasons.

4. Hub's out of town... kids running, screaming, fighting, playing 24/7. No break until they go to bed and then I end up watching t.v. or reading blogs til one in the morning. Good for all the same reasons. Are you getting the idea here?

5. Thomas the Tank Engine, Caillou, Blues Clues, Dora etc...on t.v. every chance they get! It's all my kids want to watch! Good for the same reason.

6. My house consistently looks as if a tornado hit it....I can't clean it as often as I would like because I'm running kids here and there, cooking dinner, doing homework, they've drug out toys to play trucks together for the millionth time. Good for all the same reasons.

7. Getting my haircut and highlighted...I have to make the appt 3 months in advance, then drive 250 miles to stay with my friend and ask her to watch my boys while I spend 3 hours getting my hair done. Good for all the same reasons ;0)

8. Watching the news... I know what's going on in the world, I have to watch my children like a hawk and make sure they know what's going on too. They can't live in a bubble as much as I would like them too. There are people in this world who are just bad and there is no other explanation, all we can do is pray that justice prevails and what goes around comes around. Good for all the same reasons.

9. We own our own home... we're always fixing, adding or ripping out something. Always spending the extra money we have on something for the house; furniture, fencing, pool toys etc. Having to have get togethers here because we live so far from our friends, and having to defend my messy house because people have a tendancy to "drop by" out of the blue. Good for all the same reasons!

10. Sharing all these things with you so that I can wait with baited breath for you to share yours with me! Okay, just your top 2. So there's no bad to this one, and I probably won't hold my breath for obvious reasons, but I would be interested to know. Please share!

Da-da-dat-dat-da Wonder Woman!

9:28 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
It came!! My Dukes of Hazzard and Wonder Woman box sets! Well, the Dukes was disguised as the Hubby's birthday present from the boys...but who's to know? Anyhow, J-man #1 has been watching Tom and Jerry from the grand-rents oh, for forever now. So, it (the Dukes) is now his second favorite thing to watch and at an hour a day, we should get a lot of mileage out of 2 seasons worth! Plus it should save my TiVO from be crammed up with Sponge Bob and T&J episodes!

Well, Wonder Woman was for me. I love Linda Carter and secretly wanted to be her as a child. Still do in my bad mommy moments! So I sat down last evening to watch the Pilot. I vaguely remembered it from my youth, but OH what a different perspective I have now as an adult!

It starts off with FDR saiying "The hope for freedom an democracy is...POW da-da-dat-dat-da WONDER WOMAN! " Major Steve Trevor flyng in his WW II fighter jet trying to shoot down a Nazi pilot. Of course they are flying over the ominous Devil's Triangle which has many tropical but as of yet unchartered islands. So how exactly do they know they are tropical??? Ponder...ponder.

Then of course they shoot each other at the same time and both manage to parachute out at the last minute. BUT said Nazi pilot has a hand gun and shoots Major Steve in the heart! Oh no! But then, ahh, Nazi man falls into a shark infested ocean...well we know what happens then don't we?

Next scene, Princess 'Linda', and her red-head-wigged friend are flitting and giggling along the beach in what looks to be baby doll-gauzy-touiled-nighties and the happen upon the washed up parachute.

Giggle, giggle, run, flounce...

"Princess, I've never seen that before..."
"Neither have I. Let's find out what it is"
"What do you think it is?"
"I think it's called a...parachute"
"But what's it doing here on Paradise Island?
"It's a man"
"He's been hurt. He's almost dead Rena.
"A man here on our island?"
"Help me lift him..." "I've never seen a man in the flesh before?
"Who of us have? Poor deprived souls!

WW picks him up and starts to run down the beach. My hero!

Then a conversation between the Princess and her mother (Cloris Leachman) ensues .
Where did you find the man daughter?
On the beach near the cave, will he be alright?
Yes, in time, but will we?
"We, mother?"
"The instant he returns to civilization, the world will know about Paradise island then where will be?"
"But surely some men can be trusted?"
"You are too young to remember how we women were slaves in Rome and Greece and I promised myself that I would never let that happen again...I found this island where we could live in peace, harmony and sisterhood. "
"About this man?"

I named this island paradis e fro a reason there are no men on it...it is free of their wars, barbaric masculine behavior...hmmm...she has a point..nah!

But mother 1000's of years have past perhaps men are now...different.

BwaHHHHAAHAHAHA!
Then she wants to play nurse to him to "observe the male species for scientific purposes."

Anyway, we find out later that she an immortal Amazon woman, performs in a mask in a tournament to determine she is the strongest and that she will take him back to the U.S in her invisible jet. Then, she stays to protect their secret identity. Maybe this was the beginning of ongoing debate of the definition of Feminism. Today's post by aka_monty lends credence to this very well by the way ;0) And as for strong women...read Average Mom and her lastest post on delivery of her son. Oh my Gawd!...Talk about Wonder Women!

She gets back to the states and glides innocently through the streets of D.C. catching bank robbers, and parading around the streets in her red, white and blue costume.

I still love it as silly as it seems. I was also a big Little House, Three's Company, and Facts of Life Fan.

What were your favorite shows growing up? Do you look at them differently now that you are a grown-up? Do we ever really grow-up? ;)

Happy Spring!

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"Good day sunshine....good day sunshine....gooood daaaay suunnnshine!" Thank you John, Paul, Ringo, and George! Happy Spring everyone! Still not as warm as it should be this time of year, but the sun is out and I don't feel like hibernating anymore so that's a good thing!

There are birds living in the side of my house! As I sit here typing I hear the CRASH! FLUTTE-FLUTTER! The bad part is that they are in the vent to the only bathroom on this floor...remember I live with 3 boys ....

The hubby is home, which helps a great deal too. I slept sooooo much better last night. We get to put my new hutch in tonight and I can finally put all my PILES of stuff away!!!!! YAY! Then onto finishing all the projects I've started in my own house, instead of everyone else's. Did I mention one of my phenomenal skills is procrastination???

Why is it you always want to clean when it's bright and sunny out? Why not when it's dark and dreary and cloudy and you can't do anything outside anyway?

What are your projects for the warmer weather?

9/11 ?'s

8:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Anyone know anything about this? I live here and had no clue. Still turns my stomach though...take a look.

Congrats Son...

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Hey! J-man #1 is learning how to cook. This morning he's poured a bowl of Lucky Charms and milk for his brother, made his own french toast sticks (5 at 1 min in the microwave) and 2 cups of hot chocolate (2 cups 2 minutes in the microwave). Ding! "Mom, dinner's ready!"

Okay...this sent me over the edge

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Here's a fun one for you. See how long you will live. According to this Longevity test I am considered obese! My BMI at 163 lbs and 5'10 puts me at 31.47 !!!! I AM NOT FAT people! Overweight, maybe, more like I need to shift some stuff around, although now,I certainly feel fat! So, I went back and changed it....tee hee ....to 160 lbs and it decreased my BMI from 31.47 to 23 something??? 3lbs? Hmmmm.....so I'm thinkin' this part isn't so accurate. However, it didn't change my longevity score any and the rest of the questions seemed pretty reasonably true. I'm going to live to the ripe old age of 92! This is what I expected, actually. Mom's parents have recently passed. Nana was 91, I think, and Grandpa was around the same. Dad's mom is still alive at 89 and Grandpa on the paternal side passed from a heart attack at 54 ish. He was obese and had a bunch-o -health problems ta boot. None of which have afflicted myself or anyone else in my family...yet. So, I'm assuming I take after mom's side. Here's hoping!

So, how 'bout you?

Don't judge me or my dog!

8:02 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Is this the face of a killer?


I asked myself this question after my lovely Spring filled walk yesterday afternoon. Birds were singing, tons of them mind you, it was warm enough to wear just a t-shirt. Yay! Spring has finally sprung! My youngest and I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. With our lovely more refined (now that she's been to 3 weeks of obedience classes) Tessie. She was lovin' it...we were lovin' it. So were a lot of others. Beautiful day. We met up with another mom, her daughter and their pooch. I did not recognize them as from around here so I'm not quite sure where they were headed, but anyway the little girl asked if she could pet our dog. The conversation went something like this:



Unsuspecting Child : "Can I pet your doggie?"

Me: "Sure you can sweetie. Just be careful, she might lick you to death!" LOL

Stupid Mom: "Oh, she's beautiful! What a friendly dog! Very well behaved. Look, honey, look how nicely she's sitting for you! How old is she?"

Me: "She's only 11 months. Her first birthday is coming up soon!"

Unsuspecting Child giggling now because Tessie has just given her a bath in dog slobber.

Stupid Mom: "Wow, she's really calm for a puppy and big too. What kind of dog is she?".

Okay, now I must go into modus interuptus here for a moment. Generally speaking, I do not tell people what kind of dog she is until they have met her. If they seem nervous around dogs, I tell them she's a Lab mix. If the conversation is going like it was here, I tell them the truth because OBVIOUSLY they can see that she is a very friendly dog and wouldn't hurt a flea. But, people who have dogs, and are smart enough to know that you should teach your children to ask a pet owner first before petting an animal you don't know, are generally a good judge of character when it comes to judging an animal. You would think this was the case here...nope.

Me: "Oh, she's part Lab and part Pit Bull."

Stupid Mom: "WHAT???!!!!"

Then, she literally grabs her daughter up off the ground backs away, freaking out shouting: "How can you put MY child in harm's way like that? Don't you know what that dog can do? You'd better watch out! She'll...she'll...EAT YOUR BABY!" and runs back down the road from whence she came.

She'll eat your baby???? What was that about? Now, I will admit. The Pit Bull part made me a little nervous at first, but come on! I am a mom and the first person to protect my kids from strange dogs. I have taught them to ask before they pet. Get inside as soon as you can if you see an dog or any other "wild" animal loose outside; and to be careful even when petting a dog that may seem friendly, simply because you do not know what they can or would do in reaction to a small child. It's all in how you raise them, and yes, I know there are extenuating circumstances with specific breeds, Pits being among them, but it depends on the dog! There is a beautiful male golden retriever down the road from me, and at 120 lbs, would literally take your head off! He does NOT like anyone other than his family.

Don't judge a book by it's cover. Be smart about animals, and remember the worst thing you can do is panic.

NO!

5:13 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
That's all I've been hearing for 3 freakin' days is "NO!".
J-man #1 was never a 2 yr old. He skipped from 18 months directly to 3 and then decided to be a demonstrative terror. We had food additive issues that sent him in to Hyperactive overload. Thank God he's grown out of that! However, I decided to have another one.

What a cutie pie he was...was being the operative word here. Cute until he's decided that he is going to be independent. Cute until he figured out that he can bat those baby blues and we bust a gut. Cute until he decided to cry and whine about EVERY FREAKIN' THING sixteen times a day at 20 decibels. Cute until he discovered that the word "No." is going to send me to an early grave.

This, was my day today.

"What would you like for breakfast sweetie? Cereal?"
"No."
"French Toast."
"No!"
"French Fried Frog Legs?"
"NO! I don't want bre-fast! I-WANT-CHOCOLATE-MILK!"
~~~~~~~~~~
"Alright, bud, let's go get your shoes on and take your brother to the bus stop."
"No. I want my lunch box."

"Okay, we'll get it as soon as we take your brother to the bus."
"No. I want to go to pre-school." Now, while I'm all excited about a 2 year old wanting to go to preschool, 2 minutes before the bus comes is not the time to discuss this!!!

"Shoes on."
"NOOOOO!!!! I want a snack in my lunch box." Alright, I'll play your game...

"Okay I'm leaving, be right back."
"NOOOOOOO....don't leave me!" Proceeds to fling himself out the door no coat, no shoes.

Bus drives by. We race down the sidewalk and make it just as it starts to pull away.

~~~~~~~~~

"Come on, kiddo, we gotta get movin'." Shoes on, coat on, we're on our way to the truck. Hey! we're doing great! Unlock the door, lay my keys on the dash, pop him the hubby's truck, buckle up, close the door. Lock the van, close the garage, get to driver's side of the truck, door's locked. No prob. Go around to J#2's side, pull on the handle....door's locked. Guess what folks? Doors lock automatically in the hub's '92 Dodge Dakota. Yup.

"Hey, kiddo, open the door. It's locked" Blank stare.

"Buddy, un-buckle and pull up the button. You're locked in the car. I can't get in." More blankness.

"J-man open the door!"

"No." I did eventually end up getting in through the back window. Thank goodness the
hubby takes his time fixing things. :0)

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Here honey let me help you with that remote."
"NO! I wanna do it!"

"But I can show you how to..." Oye, here we go...
"NOOO! WAHAHHA ! I want to do it myself!"

"But..." I feel a headache comin' on.
"NOOOO!!! MEEEE!!!!"

"Okay, okay, here, you do it yourself."...maintaining calm...sort of..
"Mommy will you help me?"

See what I mean????!!!! I'm going to be in a mental hospital before I'm 40!!!

For All You Comment Deprived People

7:47 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Everyone wants to be heard. I admit, I'm one of those narcissistic few who likes to blab anything and everything and hear what people have to say about it. Just like friendships, though, blogships for lack of a better word, taking some time to build too. Impatient as I might be, I've been doing this for what 6 weeks now? Sure! I would love 65 hits and comments a day. Ain't gonna happen. So to the few blogging friends I have made, and anyone else who bitched yesterday, legitimately I might add, this is for you. If I can't manage to leave it on your site...I will direct you to mine. And hopefully you'll be part of my self fulfilling prophecy and LEAVE A COMMENT HINT..HINT WITH A LEAD BALLOON!!!


Click here for your well wishes!

Hello again...

3:04 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Sorry for the boring day peeps...I've been playing as you can see. Took me all freakin' day too! J-man #2 is sick and sleeping and J-man #1 isn't home from school just yet. Laundry and other such menial tasks await...so, I decided to play instead!

I'm still trying to give credit where credit is due...Claypot Image Maker is where I made the doll...and 360 degrees of sky is where I stole the idea from. Thanks Zinnia! There are some very cool places if you have the chance to look around. I'm trying to figure out what I want this site to look like, personalize it I mean...then I'm going to pay someone to fix all my mistakes! But I'm certainly having fun until then! This is what I would look like in Japanese-cartoon-animation-kinda-sorta-way. I'm working on the rest of my family now ;0) Tomorrow I'll write something noteworthy..Hubby's out of town for 4 days! Til then...ciao!

Problem Solved!

7:35 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Okay...for those of you who have had trouble leaving comments on my site or anyone else's ...I've figured it out! Once you're done reading someone's completely hilarious, witty, sad or offensive commentary for the day and you would like to leave them a note, click on the "Comments" link. IF this doesn't work, which lately has been driving me crazy because of issues with whatever powers that be, refresh the page and try it again. Unless something is really screwed up...it should work.

Now...talk to me people! And everyone else for that matter!

Exercise...Do you?

10:24 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
I eat wrong, exercise well, and sleep less than I should. I've always claimed that I could live on chocolate and still lose weight. I'm not a small girl. I've probably waffled between a size 12-16 since I was in the seventh grade. Well, at my best, I was rowing crew every afternoon, running 3-5 miles a day and lifting weights 3 times a week. At my best, I was 147 lbs.

Now, 2 kids and 20 years later, I am about 163 ish lbs and a size 12 on a good day in Old Navy stretch jeans. I can't seem to go below that...the infamous "they" once said, "After 35, it will take twice as long to get back into shape". What shape might that be? Pear shape? Pumpkin shape? Bad shape? It's all relative, I suppose.

Anywho, I started to "get into shape" about a year ago, with this cool new class called Body Flow.

It's a combination of Yoga, Pilates and Tai Chi. Okay, I'll bite.

Yoga- relaxing, meditative contortions of your body named after what first seems to be strong, amazon women. Things like Sun Warrior, Mountain Pose, and my favorite Extended Warrior shooting arrows. Then when you're feeling all strong and invincible you start doing things with names like crocodile, tree pose, dancer, horse stance, seal pose, happy baby, and my absolute fav Down DOG!!

Pilates- the only pilates moves we do are abs...really HARD abs...picture this...get on the floor on your hands and knees. Now, push your body into a push-up, raise one leg, now lower your upper body to the floor and back up again... 10 times in a row!

Tai Chi--never stop moving...my favorite and most beautiful part of the whole routine. Long, languid moves that make anyone look like a ballet dancer.

At the end of the whole thing you get to lie on your back and relax for 10 minutes for cell regeneration. Put all these together and you have Body Flow.

From all of this, I have lost 12 pounds in the past year and realized that 20 year old body I used have is still there. Now all I have to do to keep it that way is stand on my tiptoes stretch my hands way above my head and look down...my boobs have gone back to their teenage positions and I have a flat stomach!

Now, if I could just figure out how to walk around.....

Conflicted... It's long, but there is a point to it all...I promise!

9:34 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
So, I grew up Catholic. Still am when I choose to be. Depends on the church, the priest, the day, the mood, do I feel like sitting in a room full of people paying total attention to someone's crying kids? Do I want to dress up? After all if you can't dress up for God who then?


Or, originally, listening to the Homily and getting pissed off and crying because my boyfriend said we were all sinners, and who were we to say divorce and abortion are a mortal sin? I'm in high school, why was I worrying about these things? Should've gotten a clue looking back. Angry because no one could tell me the differences in religions...why were we against Lutheranism? What made it okay for Women to be Pastors in the Episcopalian and Methodist churches but not my own? Why do I need to go to confession to tell a man I'm sorry for my sins and not God? Why can't anyone answer my questions? Why won't someone tell me why we interpret the Bible, because lets face it, people just don't stone each other to death anymore and the Baptist's follow it down to the last Thee, Thy and Though.? Who said I'm not "saved"? I believe Jesus died on the cross for me. I'm not saved because I don't have "the feeling". What feeling? Why is it all about being afraid? Wasn't Jesus about love and peace, and the conflictedness of Free Will?

Then there was the Priest who brought me back to the church. I was single, had just graduated from college and my safe space, church? Who needs it? I did. I needed a sense of community and purpose in my life because I was on my own now, and Father H. helped me realize this. He was thought provoking, accepting and real. Did missionary work in Haiti, which was his passion, brought EVERYONE into the church, race, creed, color, and sexual preference. Yes, this meant homosexuals as well. Amen! Finally, someone "of God" who really does forgive and love EVERYONE. Yes, the Bible says it's wrong, but... then there's the whole Bible thing. What about the Koran (don't jump on me people, they are just questions and valid ones at that) ?

Well in the midst of my conflictedness, things seemed to become a little clearer for me. This is where I belonged. I was happy..so much so, that my husband went through their RCIA program and converted to Catholicism because he believed too. We were married in this church, with Fr. H, our family and friends and all the love in the world.

Then we were hit with...Fr. H is taking a hiatus...he died six months later from AIDS. Hmmmm..... lessons to be learned here?

Then there was the priest who told my 4 year old at Christmas Eve mass that there was no Santa Claus. WHAT?????!!!! There isn't?

Then I found Eastern philosophy. To me, this is how we should all live our lives. In peace, and goodness. It's so easy to see the bad in people, why not try to find something positive in it all? Sure does make one a lot happier in life. I just want to make informed decisions! Why can't anyone give me a straight answer?????? Because, I now know, there isn't one. At least, I don't think there is. See my confusion?

I've since learned some truths about psychics and psychos, people who have talked and believe they still can talk to aliens; met my spirit guides; learned to heal the body through energetic channeling, learned that phobias and unknown illness, known illnesses and many other problems are manifestations of being stabbed with a sword or burned to death or tortured in some unknown manner in a past life, etc, etc. and still don't believe that I'm going to hell for it all!

Because I'm only 37 years old and I'm still learning and that's okay.

Because, I still go to church, and take what I can get from it, especially that sense of community and family.

Because I still believe in God and what He stands for. I believe Jesus took on human form to bring peace to a chaotic world and that though we're headed that way again, we will find a resolution to it all soon.

Because I still believe that there is something to be learned in everything that happens to you good and bad. At least this is where I am at right now.


So here's the challenge, do you agree? If so, read on and I challenge you to live life like I do!


You need community. Communities that share the same belief systems as you do. You need to try to live your life the way you want others to live...set an example. And then follow these four things....some I'm better at than others but here they are:

From The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

1. Be impeccable with your word.

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't take anything personally.

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, thier own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. (Obviously I need to work on this one!)

3. Don't make assumptions.

Find the courage go ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.

4. Always do your best.

This will change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy than when you are sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret.


Good luck! You're gonna need it!