Stream of Conscientiousness....They're Only Here for a Little While

7:49 AM Edit This 0 Comments »

As I watched my kids play, blow bubbles, and run around like crazy people, I was reminded how much I love being a Mom and what that really means. I've come to realize over the past couple of years that January and February are not good months for me. I'm tired, scream a lot, and am just not a very nice person. I'm judgemental and angry a good bit of the time. Not the kind of person I want to be. When I look at my kids, my heart hurts. I love them so much!!! I can't get enough of smelling their heads, kissing their chubby cheeks and hugging them until they pop!

I've been blessed with very intelligent children. I can have a conversation with J-man #2 that most people can't have with a 5 year old. "Daddy, when are you going to build my computer?"

J-man #1 is reading like a fiend and is extremely observant. " Mom, you just ran a red light you're lucky their wasn't a policeman in sight!"

I went to school for 19 years just to quit teaching and be a SAHM. And now I'm contemplating going back to teach just so my 2 year old can get into a phenomenal preschool. All I've ever wanted is what's best for them. My wonderful hubby works a ton just so I can stay home and be here for my kids. I don't envy a single one of you that has to do the job of 2 parents. It's almost more than I can handle now and there are two of us! I don't know how you do it.

We spent the day yesterday, outside at a local park with a million other moms and kids and I found myself comparing mine to everyone elses. I guess I just realize how lucky I truly am to have two beautiful, enriched boys, with a caring family and tons of friends who love us as well. I was able to refocus and concentrate on what is really important in my life. I noticed colors again, smells of fresh grass and muddy water, and how beautiful a bubble is when the light hits it just right.

Weird how a little bit of sunshine can bring out a new outlook on life isn't it?

Remind me never to move to Seattle.

What does the sun bring into your life?